Feeding The Fish

MPs are investigating Catholic Schools to investigate if their approach to education is perhaps a little too driven by the church’s insane, counter-productive and murderous attitude to sex:

The move comes after a 66-page circular from the Bishop of Lancaster, Patrick O’Donoghue, instructed Catholic schools in the North-west to stop “safe sex” education and place crucifixes in every classroom.

Schools were also told not to support charities that promote or fund pro-choice policies, singling out Amnesty International – which is in favour of abortion for women who have been raped in war zones. Barry Sheerman, the Labour chairman of the committee, said there was evidence from other areas of the country of Catholic schools being told to adopt a more fundamentalist line.

In his document, Fit for Mission, Bishop O’Donoghue wrote: “The secular view on sex outside marriage, artificial contraception, sexually transmitted disease, including HIV and Aids, and abortion, may not be presented as neutral information.”

You have to admit the man talks a lot of sense. Obviously teaching “Safe Sex” is just going to lead to those poor children having pre-marital hanky-panky in classrooms (Hence the crucifixes to remind them that they are always being watched). I think it’s a completely unfair comparison where people say it’s like giving kids a gun, telling them nothing about the safety catch and trusting them not to use it. What’s that? Studies say all this approach will do is create a generation of children who have no idea what the risks are or how to prevent then but yet will have sex at some point anyway? You’ve obviously forgotten the first rule of the game, if ’secular’ science or so-called ‘facts’ contradict what the church would like to be true then that’s obviously not ‘neutral’ infomation and shouldn’t be taken in to consideration. Only Official Catholic Facts™ should be used. These include useful tips like Condoms don’t prevent AIDS and Condoms are made deliberately to kill you.

What people keep on forgetting is that so-called “Safe Sex” is an oxymoron, you may be less less likely to get pregnant (and potentially die because abortion is immoral) or catch an STD (and die) if you use a condom but in doing so you’re messing up God’s plan and putting your immortal soul in jeapody. Obviously Catholic Schools should be more concerned with these young ones’ souls than their short, pathetic moral lives. By not teaching children about this potential path to Hell, they’re doing them a favour! In fact I can exclusively reveal a future policy to stop teaching ’safe road-crossing’ so their pure, young souls can be swept into heaven before this evil world has a chance to corrupt them further.

It’s quite literally the least they can do for them.